the end of the start.

It seems tome that I am so lost in this centre of graffiti… ….. my heart keeps on racing when there I am sitting all alone with no means of direction. Who is it that my heart is yearning for? Who/ who?.... they say, when you write down your sorrows they eventually fade and alas a sense of peace shall place its self reluctantly above thy heart. As now I am writing my heart out yet I keep on pondering on the fact that how many times shall I keep on this pace? It is like a 1500m run, at first it seems so fine I run at a phase smoothly my shirt too big; flying as I run my muscles expanding and my gasping for air increases as I accelerate, the momentum that I apply on my speed tremendously keeping my heart jovial, on the other hand my heart thumping at every step! My mouth becomes dry as I run, and keep on running to reach my destination but somehow my heart fails and stops realizing that there is no end in this 1500m run. I do not see a red ribbon horizontally awaiting to declare my wonderful victory!, and so shall I say this is how I visualize my life desperate! It was so easy to say yet at the end so damn hard to fulfill. The fire in me burning at the start seems to have washed its self away when I realized that I was imprudent of not thinking about the consequences of how it shall and will affect me later on some day. Hence , no matter how much you have to debate on my part of factual vision I and only I have a strong believe that I was young and I was injudicious of my steps of my desire of my sense of feeling that feeling that some say is hard to be washed away from ones weak heart. Yet there are so many of them who can suppress this in their wholesome hearts and go on. They are able to show this feeling out even knowing that lips of can never stay still. Ah of course they can not as god did give us this splendid lips of pink and a lining of softness to be spoken of. Our palms, skin may abrade yet our lips shall never deceive ones heart the only part of our skin organ that cannot be abrated. So shall I and only I can be whom I shall be someday. My heart tears up to see so many of them whom are so close to have this opportunity yet I never could realize how wretched my life could get suddenly I feel this feeling of frantic to go through that moment that everybody cherish that every body is wishing for! Yet my prayers seem to fail to be centralized in the prayers that I have wished for from god.
Let alone my miseries of the past that have come haunting me at every slip of my lids. At this very moment his gaze was not upon me and that is when I knew that this shall never go on. I shall forget banish this thought, this feeling I shall vaporize it as I try and try to keep my consciousness calm that this shall and will never go on as his gaze has pictured me everything that I should have seen before I made that move. All I ever wished for was for him and only him to hold my palms and say “ I love you” and when these words are being uttered I wished that he really meant it, I wish that at every point of our relationship he would see for whom am I and that I do love him as much as when this earth comes to a standstill and that the ocean now still with out a movement the signs that protrude as to tell the earthlings that a major catastrophe of beyond realization shall occur and that there is no heaven nor hell in this moment of silence. Till that very silence is broken I shall be by thy side hold your hand and breathe your last breath , sensing your warm breath feeling it penetrate this sorrowful heart and never let go. Though my heart does throb of the past infatuation the memories so far away yet the feeling still sting me everyday! Your touch seem to have stuck to me the very first time you touched me, though the thought of it now may be unappealing yet I do not ponder on why my mind has reconcile this insane memory! I have tried so hard to disregard you from my mind yet you keep on appearing like a lotus that has no choice but to stay afloat on the surface of the water even if I were to purposely allow it to be inundate into the . So did this heart of mine fail to accept that you are gone! But why? Why is it that I am unable to see some one else to accept some other one? My mind dangled and twirling at every sentence at every speech I was to utter.like wise shall I fade deep deep down in the depth of the oceans floor bed where I shall lay all eternity. It is hard to explain the fact that may sound insane. The inconvenient truth that someday our lives my end recklessly nothing but nothing of us shall be recovered!....has my words seem to put in any sense or am I just an illusion with words of no reason, time shall come and words may fade less or more of every fact shall not be the same minds and souls shall never be the same.

Slipping from thy fingers slowly,
The moon face half lit,
The ocean twirling not in me,
Alas did I find my restound laces,
Did it all stop, with silence as its aroma,
Then did I know that shall it be thy turn to fade.
Hak cipta sharanya komahan.(sktg)....im les bo